Swimming Up the Sun is now available for purchase at amazon.com!

Trust is a huge issue for all of us in the adoption constellation.

Adoptive parents must trust that their children will accept them as their "real" parents, even as these children search and reunite with their original families. Adopted people must trust that their universe won't explode again and that they won't be "sent back to the orphanage." And birth parents, especially our mothers, must trust that all will work out before, during, and after reunion and that they won't be shamed again for doing their best at the time of relinquishment. 

It's one thing to reveal our own lives and feelings, yet another to do the same for our loved ones. In publishing Swimming Up the Sun, I've encountered hard feelings from close quarters. Unknowingly, I "outed" my people. I thought I'd prepared folks: changing names and occupations, giving them the manuscript to preview before publication, being open about my intentions. No difference. Parts of my family - people I really love - are angry and have sent me to the doghouse, where it's quiet. And chilly. Of course, being rejected is an adopted person's nightmare. But when I mull the alternatives, what should I have done? Remained silent? Written a novel or a play? There's nothing wrong with fiction, but nothing wrong with truth either, fairly told. Meantime, I send blessings to all and hope time will heal the wounds of commission.

Detroit filmmaker Joan Mandell recalled shooting the stories of birth mothers and fathers as part of a campaign to help teens become more aware of the effects of unwanted pregnancy. "The stories were so powerful, especially those of birth fathers. I'd always assumed that the men, who had no legal rights whatsoever, also had no feelings. Not true. Like the birthmothers who were often coerced into giving up their children to closed adoption, the birth fathers rememberd and grieved, in their own ways." Adoption activist Mary Martin Mason, author of Out of the Shadows: Birthfathers' Stories, helped arrange the Mandell interviews. "The adoption agency in Minnesota that helped us find the participants took control of the footage," said Mandell. "I wish I could get access to work with it. The stories were moving; many years later, they still haunt me."